not "cut out"

hey all...here is a lesson that I recently learned and I wanted to share it with you guys.

I always tried to be really tough and to work super hard. I always was the "tough girl" who could carry heavy things, and run pretty fast, and work till I almost dropped. In fact I really became quite prideful in that area....and so I always felt like it wouldn't be really hard for me to be a missionary and to go to difficult parts of the world, or live a fairly difficult lifestyle...I thought that I was "cut out" for it, I might have even thought I had some sort of spiritual gift in that area, I don't know....but then I came here...yeah some of it wasn't super hard adjusting to ( like two minute showers for example )...but I realized that living this life is really hard ( especially like living with my host family ). Every minute, every second of my life needs to be given to God otherwise it won't count for anything. There is always tons of spiritual warfare and ways of living quite different than what I am used to. Learning a different language is tough, just living a different life....

That's when I realized that I really wasn't "cut out" for this. I'm not sure anyone is. Is there anyone who is really good at changing every part of their life ( for example changing simple things like how to take showers or how to cook ), or always being the one who doesn't understand the language, or always having the weird different color skin? I realized that I wasn't humble enough to enjoy feeling like that...I don't think that I ever really will be! It's not easy going to a different culture and learning the different culture rules....the only way that I can be here is because God helps me every step of the way. The only way that I can enjoy being here is because God is with me and giving me the strength to get through each moment.

So this is my point: if you feel like you can't come to the mission field because you "just aren't cut out" for it, join the club, cuz neither am I! It's only because of God's grace that I'm here, and that I absolutely love being here, and I know in the future when I go to even harder places ( because I know Mexico is just a little step) with even more difficult languages, and even more difficult customs and cultures, that it will only be because God is helping me and carrying me every step of the way! It's okay if you're not "cut out", because God doesn't care, He can totally use you in ways you thought He never could...it's because He's God and He's awesome at His job!