this is my money testimony…this might not mean as much to you as it did to me, but it reminded me that my God provides!
So going back to about last Christmas, when I got home, I started freaking out ( probably when I looked at my bank balance ) about not having enough money to pay all my expenses here at GFM, and I was also worrying about not being able to pay expenses during my break home.
That was when God reminded me that He was God and that He owns the whole world, and He doesn’t worry about stuff like that. He gave me a few reminders of His power through these little, but awesome testimonies:
First, I was broke and I only had three weeks so I couldn’t get a job. That’s when it snowed like two or three times, so my little brother Daniel and I shoveled our friends’ very long driveway and I made like $60-$70 bucks off that. Next, I had about seven rolls of film ( yeah…still very behind the times! lol ) that I wanted to develop, which would have cost like $50.00. I didn’t have enough money for that, and so I disappointedly decided to only get my pictures on CD, much cheaper, but not as convenient or nice. Well the next week when I went to pick up my film the store had “accidentally” printed all seven of my rolls of film, so I got all of them, and the CD’s, for the price of what I would have paid if I had just gotten the CD’s. Then I got a shirt for Christmas that just really didn’t fit, so I took it back to the store hoping maybe to get five dollars or so ( since I didn’t have a receipt ), and unbelievably ended up getting around $20 - $25-ish for it.
At that point I decided to just give it up to God, and stop worrying about money at all. So I headed back to Mexico, having no idea how or where the money I needed was going to come from, but just keeping the promise in my heart that God was God and that He would provide.
I was still like extra skipping on money though, and not enjoying spending money for fun, or like if a group of us went out to eat I wasn’t able to enjoy it because I was still a little worried about not having enough money. That was when one of my friends approached me and reminded me how much God was in control, and how I was acting through my worries like He was not. So I started praying and working on that part of my life.
Also around that time it was brought to my pastor and my church boards’ attention that I was short on money and they began to pray about supporting me. My pastor had me write a letter and he put it in my church bulletin, and my mom sent out the same letter to a few other of my friends. I had asked for about $1000.00, and God has provided about double the amount! This process has been just an awesome lesson on trust, letting God be God, and just learning how to get over my foolish fears and worries.
God is an awesome God…not just when everything works out, He’s awesome even when bad things and hard times come along. I always want to remember that…I never want to forget that…I always want to trust God and know that God is God….no matter how scary things get…no matter what happens in this world…no matter how many terrifying things happen….no matter how far away from home I am…God is God, and He’s an awesome God at that!
Thank you all for your help, love, and support! You have blessed me greatly!
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
not "cut out"
hey all...here is a lesson that I recently learned and I wanted to share it with you guys.
I always tried to be really tough and to work super hard. I always was the "tough girl" who could carry heavy things, and run pretty fast, and work till I almost dropped. In fact I really became quite prideful in that area....and so I always felt like it wouldn't be really hard for me to be a missionary and to go to difficult parts of the world, or live a fairly difficult lifestyle...I thought that I was "cut out" for it, I might have even thought I had some sort of spiritual gift in that area, I don't know....but then I came here...yeah some of it wasn't super hard adjusting to ( like two minute showers for example )...but I realized that living this life is really hard ( especially like living with my host family ). Every minute, every second of my life needs to be given to God otherwise it won't count for anything. There is always tons of spiritual warfare and ways of living quite different than what I am used to. Learning a different language is tough, just living a different life....
That's when I realized that I really wasn't "cut out" for this. I'm not sure anyone is. Is there anyone who is really good at changing every part of their life ( for example changing simple things like how to take showers or how to cook ), or always being the one who doesn't understand the language, or always having the weird different color skin? I realized that I wasn't humble enough to enjoy feeling like that...I don't think that I ever really will be! It's not easy going to a different culture and learning the different culture rules....the only way that I can be here is because God helps me every step of the way. The only way that I can enjoy being here is because God is with me and giving me the strength to get through each moment.
So this is my point: if you feel like you can't come to the mission field because you "just aren't cut out" for it, join the club, cuz neither am I! It's only because of God's grace that I'm here, and that I absolutely love being here, and I know in the future when I go to even harder places ( because I know Mexico is just a little step) with even more difficult languages, and even more difficult customs and cultures, that it will only be because God is helping me and carrying me every step of the way! It's okay if you're not "cut out", because God doesn't care, He can totally use you in ways you thought He never could...it's because He's God and He's awesome at His job!
I always tried to be really tough and to work super hard. I always was the "tough girl" who could carry heavy things, and run pretty fast, and work till I almost dropped. In fact I really became quite prideful in that area....and so I always felt like it wouldn't be really hard for me to be a missionary and to go to difficult parts of the world, or live a fairly difficult lifestyle...I thought that I was "cut out" for it, I might have even thought I had some sort of spiritual gift in that area, I don't know....but then I came here...yeah some of it wasn't super hard adjusting to ( like two minute showers for example )...but I realized that living this life is really hard ( especially like living with my host family ). Every minute, every second of my life needs to be given to God otherwise it won't count for anything. There is always tons of spiritual warfare and ways of living quite different than what I am used to. Learning a different language is tough, just living a different life....
That's when I realized that I really wasn't "cut out" for this. I'm not sure anyone is. Is there anyone who is really good at changing every part of their life ( for example changing simple things like how to take showers or how to cook ), or always being the one who doesn't understand the language, or always having the weird different color skin? I realized that I wasn't humble enough to enjoy feeling like that...I don't think that I ever really will be! It's not easy going to a different culture and learning the different culture rules....the only way that I can be here is because God helps me every step of the way. The only way that I can enjoy being here is because God is with me and giving me the strength to get through each moment.
So this is my point: if you feel like you can't come to the mission field because you "just aren't cut out" for it, join the club, cuz neither am I! It's only because of God's grace that I'm here, and that I absolutely love being here, and I know in the future when I go to even harder places ( because I know Mexico is just a little step) with even more difficult languages, and even more difficult customs and cultures, that it will only be because God is helping me and carrying me every step of the way! It's okay if you're not "cut out", because God doesn't care, He can totally use you in ways you thought He never could...it's because He's God and He's awesome at His job!
Sunday, May 25, 2008
journal entries from my host family...
Last Monday I left my host family and came back to the base. While half of me was relieved to escape from my Spanish life, the other half of me was really truly sad to leave. They are such an awesome, kind family, and I know that I am part of that family now!
Here are some parts of my journal entries while I was in my host family:
April 9th 2008: ...life in my host family has been going well so far. It's hard to think about living here for two months, so I intend to only take one day at a time! I'm very content here though. Gris, Isa, and Adryanna treat me like their sister and Dani and Jose are like my brothers.....It's weird speaking in Spanish first thing when I get up in the morning and last thing when I go to bed, but it's good. Although at this point I don't feel like I can talk much better, I definitely can understand better, I have so much to learn though. So this will be my life for the next two months....
April 19th 2008: ....so life is going, sometimes it's good and sometimes I can't wait to get back to the base and my English life! So this week my family didn't have electricity, which was a new experience for me for a long period of time....actually it isn't so bad, just a little inconvenient, but I didn't really mind....I think it was a good experience...
April 28th 2008: ....I've still got around another month before I get back to the base. I've still got a long way to go Spanish-wise though! My time so far has been good, I'm having a great time and my host family is wonderful, it's just been hard. Although I have learned some awesome things from this I would definitely say that the best thing it's done for me is helped me put more trust in God. Oh my goodness, everyday is a complete reliance on Him for everything...it has reminded how much I need Him for just the everyday little things....Lord please keep giving me strength!
May 5th 2008: So I really thought my birthday this year was just going to be a "bla" birthday and that I wasn't going to do anything, but it turns out I was very wrong....First I had a little Mexican birthday party with my friend Jackie and her family and some of my friends from the base....then Tasha and I went to Oaxaca..where I got another party ( my first surprise party ever! ) from some of my missionary friends in Oaxaca!....When I got back to Tlaxiaco I opened a few packages and cards that I had gotten from friends and family back home....after that I came back to my host family, and to my complete surprise they had a birthday present for me too! It was a Mexican shirt and skirt...I felt so special and loved!
May 10th 2008: Today is the Mexican mother's day....last night we had a Marachi band sing outside of our house...it had to be like two in morning...I was such an American last night, I couldn't get over how rude it was to sing outside someone's house at that time in the morning...but here that's normal, a nice thing, and definitely not rude! haha I have so much to learn! Well, these last few days have been really tough, not exactly sure why...Today I just want to give up and never speak Spanish again...I want to be happy and content, but I know that I'm not! Just about two more weeks!
~-~-~-~-~~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
Wow...looking back those two months went very fast...I think that I learned lots of good things from that experience ( including Spanish btw ). One really cool thing is today I went to visit my family, and I realized that I was still part of the family. It was like I never left, they didn't even act too surprised to see me...they were just kinda like, oh hi Ana. It was a really awesome visit, and I will always feel at home in their house!
So...God is amazing ( as always ), and He got me through one of the best, most hard, most frustrating, most awesome time of my life! Thank you for your many prayers!!!! God bless you all!
Here are some parts of my journal entries while I was in my host family:
April 9th 2008: ...life in my host family has been going well so far. It's hard to think about living here for two months, so I intend to only take one day at a time! I'm very content here though. Gris, Isa, and Adryanna treat me like their sister and Dani and Jose are like my brothers.....It's weird speaking in Spanish first thing when I get up in the morning and last thing when I go to bed, but it's good. Although at this point I don't feel like I can talk much better, I definitely can understand better, I have so much to learn though. So this will be my life for the next two months....
April 19th 2008: ....so life is going, sometimes it's good and sometimes I can't wait to get back to the base and my English life! So this week my family didn't have electricity, which was a new experience for me for a long period of time....actually it isn't so bad, just a little inconvenient, but I didn't really mind....I think it was a good experience...
April 28th 2008: ....I've still got around another month before I get back to the base. I've still got a long way to go Spanish-wise though! My time so far has been good, I'm having a great time and my host family is wonderful, it's just been hard. Although I have learned some awesome things from this I would definitely say that the best thing it's done for me is helped me put more trust in God. Oh my goodness, everyday is a complete reliance on Him for everything...it has reminded how much I need Him for just the everyday little things....Lord please keep giving me strength!
May 5th 2008: So I really thought my birthday this year was just going to be a "bla" birthday and that I wasn't going to do anything, but it turns out I was very wrong....First I had a little Mexican birthday party with my friend Jackie and her family and some of my friends from the base....then Tasha and I went to Oaxaca..where I got another party ( my first surprise party ever! ) from some of my missionary friends in Oaxaca!....When I got back to Tlaxiaco I opened a few packages and cards that I had gotten from friends and family back home....after that I came back to my host family, and to my complete surprise they had a birthday present for me too! It was a Mexican shirt and skirt...I felt so special and loved!
May 10th 2008: Today is the Mexican mother's day....last night we had a Marachi band sing outside of our house...it had to be like two in morning...I was such an American last night, I couldn't get over how rude it was to sing outside someone's house at that time in the morning...but here that's normal, a nice thing, and definitely not rude! haha I have so much to learn! Well, these last few days have been really tough, not exactly sure why...Today I just want to give up and never speak Spanish again...I want to be happy and content, but I know that I'm not! Just about two more weeks!
~-~-~-~-~~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~
Wow...looking back those two months went very fast...I think that I learned lots of good things from that experience ( including Spanish btw ). One really cool thing is today I went to visit my family, and I realized that I was still part of the family. It was like I never left, they didn't even act too surprised to see me...they were just kinda like, oh hi Ana. It was a really awesome visit, and I will always feel at home in their house!
So...God is amazing ( as always ), and He got me through one of the best, most hard, most frustrating, most awesome time of my life! Thank you for your many prayers!!!! God bless you all!
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